RECIPE: Veggie Patties
I’m not a vegetarian. I love a good steak as much as the next guy, but I HATE cooking with meat. It completely grosses me out. Especially chicken. It’s slimy and germy and disgusting. Plus, you know, animals are cute. So there’s that.
My girlfriend has been trying to get me to make this veggie burger for a while now. I took one look at the recipe and choked on my wine. There are 22 ingredients. TWENTY TWO. When I’m cruising the internet for meals to make at night, if there’s any more than about 10 ingredients, I’m out. TWENTY.TWO. Not to mention, the recipe had everything in ounces, which is a total P.I.T.A. Look, I’ve got things to do. I have to catch up on Vampire Diaries and possibly work on pictures for clients. I don’t need to be messing around with ingredient-heavy recipes when I could be
drinking marking things off my To Do list.
Since this girl loves it, I sucked it up, poured a second glass, and started. And if I could add one more whine about this one, recipes with a lot of cutting are my nemesis. I need a cutting class, do they have those?
Ryan came in from changing the oil in my car, took one look at the mass of mush I was kneading and said, “Uh, what is that?”. I told my Nebraska-raised husband it was a super fancy veggie burger. Yay! He shook his head and said, “Um, is there meat in there? No? It is not a burger.”
Not a burger? But it LOOKS like a burger! I’m gonna put it on a bun for you! So I took the debate to the Facebook. Yeah, they’re with Ryan. No food thing that is missing meat can be referred to as a burger evidently.
So this is a Veggie Pattie. And it was DELICIOUS. It’s spicy and awesome, and after one my meat-loving husband declared he was totally full and satisfied. That’s an almost unattainable feat with this guy, so I’ve got to give this recipe a 5 out of 5, and it’s definitely on our repeat list. Oh, and just a note… I think this would be good with some sort of aioli, but I had that homemade hummus sitting around and it was perfect in place of other, more traditional, burger-y condiments. Because this is NOT a burger.
Recipe is below. I changed up the amounts some so it’s almost double. I also added a step for putting all the beans in the food processor. I decreased the amount of oatmeal because it was freaking me out how much there was. This burger was also amazing the next day heated up and put on an herb salad with Nana’s hot sauce.