Elevated Bar Food

RECIPE: Pretentious Nach-Oh-Hells-Yes

Yeah, I occasionally feed my kids nachos for dinner. Stop judging me. It’s not like I bring home Taco Bell (very often). It’s really more like open-faced tacos, but the kids love it because they’re like, “Dude, we get to eat chips for dinner!” We only do it once a month or so, and I get a night of ‘Mom is Awesome’ points.

I do try to elevate the quality of my nachos to at least interject some flavor and style to the dish. It doesn’t make it any healthier (some might argue it increases the fat content. I would whap those people upside the head for butting in), but at least the dish can stand alone as a meal, rather than resembling leftover bar food.

I make my own cheese sauce starting with a rue. You know what a rue is, right? A totally pretentious way to make a cheese sauce? Yes. And super easy. You start with equal amounts of butter and flour in a saute pan (2 tablespoons each here). Melt them together until you have a paste, add milk or heavy whipping cream and finally, whatever cheese you want.

I use the bags of preshredded cheese for lots of things, but a pretentious cheese sauce to elevate pseudo-Mexican bar food totally requires hand grated Medium Sharp Tillamook cheddar, don’t you think?

Add handfuls of cheese at a time and stir till melted and incorporated. This it totally one of those ‘to taste’ things.

Then, once I’ve got my cheese sauce right where I want it, BAM! I totally blind-side that sauce by ratcheting up the awesome several notches. (That was kind of excessively Emeril of me. But sometimes a BAM is just necessary.)

That’s right, I dump about half a cup of salsa into the sauce and mix it all in lovely like.

Right? I mean, please. Nachos with homemade spicy cheese sauce should really not even be called ‘nachos’. The name is beneath them. They should be called Nach-Oh-hells-yes.

From there I just basically decorate a plate of chips with the meat and the sauce and other fabulousness like these:

Until the plate is just like a big ole’ Jackson Pollack painting of deliciousness.

I gave this recipe a 3 out of 5 wine glasses rating, because even though it’s yum and all, I can never make myself a plate with a serving size that doesn’t make me so full I want to vomit 2/3rds of the way through. It’s just a lot of heavy, salty delicious. Which is all the more reason it’s only good every once in awhile.


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